After coming remarkably close to winning several games this past season, LT football has demanded that student athletes who play football should be paid for the 2017-18 season.

“I mean, we already get all of the blue card money from cross country and all the other sports, but our players need to be paid by the school to make the game worth their while,” varsity head coach Burt Veinberg said. “If pro players get paid, and college players might get paid, why shouldn’t our guys get paid?”

There is currently a debate about whether college athletes should be paid for their efforts, varsity starting quarterback Banjo O’Briant said. He hoped to capitalize on this trend.

“I mean, how much money do we bring into the school?” O’Briant asked. “We deserve compensation for all the money that people spend at the concession stand. Football gets gypped, and we will go to the school board and demand payment.”

Options for the football team to force the school board to pay them include going on strike, stopping using the weight room, and wearing their jerseys every day in school.… They hope that all football teams at LT will be able to be paid, not just varsity.

“Hinsdale Central pays its players for scoring touchdowns and getting good grades, O’Briant said. “Is it too much to ask for a small cash payment to each player? How else can we compete with them?”

Dr. Sporty McSpice refused to comment on this article, but did say he was skeptical at best.