Local police target SC goose

Olivia Janik, Opinions editor

In an effort to get the public involved in keeping crime out of the neighborhood, the Western Springs Police Department has created a top 10 most wanted criminals list. At the very top of the list lies a criminal familiar to all LT students: the goose from the South Campus courtyard.

The goose gained attention after committing a murder most fowl last spring, when it killed a group of ducklings, Western Springs Police Chief Servin Protekt said.

“We need to protect our community, and the best way to do it is by raising awareness about this dangerous criminal,” he said.

Lyons Township High School is fully cooperating with the Western Springs Police LTHS principal, Dr. Byron Aguahombre said. All SC courtyards have been locked and started having goose attack drills to prepare students for what to do in case of an emergency.

“The most important thing now is to prepare everyone for an emergency,” Aguahombre said. “We need students to understand that this is not the time to be a hero, it is a time to stay safe.”

However, the campaign against the goose has gone too far according to Animals First, an activist group dedicated to stopping the mistreatment and prosecution of animals everywhere.

“The way the whole neighborhood is ganging up on this poor animal is atrocious,” the group said in a press release.

During a protest to protect the goose, the very same animal terrorized the Animals First members. The activist group declined to comment after the incident, but later announced that they would be filing a lawsuit against the goose for the damage it caused.

“We used to believe that all animals should be protected,” a spokesperson for Animals First said. “But now our motto has changed to all animals deserve a chance, except for that dang goose.”