Steps of Getting Consent

Paige Darling, Assistant Multimedia Editor

People are becoming more vocal about being assaulted and stripping the shame associated with it, so it’s our job to inform others of how to form a comfortable environment and be safe. First off, we need to define consent: an agreement between all participants to engage in any activity. It’s important to note that consent allows you to set healthy boundaries and be respectful of yourself and others.

The Essentials-No Pressure- Proper consent should be your choice and you should not feel obligated or pressured to give it.

Flexibility- Consent can be taken away if you become uncomfortable with whatever is happening. You have the power to change your mind and express it if you do. Remember that you can say “no” at any time.

No Secrets- Make sure everything is clear when you give consent. Have all the information and be certain there’s no misinterpretation.

Actually Want To- Make sure you want to engage in the activity you’re doing. It should be something that makes you happy and what you want to be a part of.

Let’s Make it Clear- Just because you said “yes” doesn’t mean you agree to everything. When you give consent it is only for one specific action.

  1. Ask- Request consent from the other party or parties involved. Don’t expect others to be ok with what you want to do. For example ask them, “What do you want to do?” and “Is this ok?”.
  2. Listen- Look out for their clear answer, “maybe” or “sure” is not good enough. Use what they verbally say and their body language to determine if they want to engage in activity because saying “No” may be difficult for some. If someone does say no don’t argue or negotiate with them, no means no.
  3. Respect – Respect their answer or your reply. Don’t force or guilt them into doing anything.
  4. Think- Think about a similar insistence and how it made you feel. If you wouldn’t want a repeat of it then say no or leave.

Benefits of Consent

Consent allows for a positive, healthy and respectful dynamic between people. To avoid being unhappy, uncomfortable or making others feel that way, make sure you have consent.

Source:, Plannedparenthood, Rainn