The voice of Lyons Township students for more than 100 years

LION Newspaper

Pritzker taps State Rep. Juliana Stratton as running mate

Pritzker taps State Rep. Juliana Stratton as running mate

Lars Lonnroth, Assistant News Editor
August 10, 2017
Filed under News, Online Exclusives, Top Stories

Illinois Democratic candidate for governor JB Pritzker officially tapped state Rep. Juliana Stratton as his running mate late Thursday morning, one of the first major candidates to make that decision.   Stratton, a freshman representative only elected to the General Assembly in 2016, was p...

Soda tax provokes changes, confusion at local businesses

Soda tax provokes changes, confusion at local businesses

Lars Lonnroth, Assistant News Editor
August 4, 2017
Filed under News, Online Exclusives, Top Stories

Di Nico’s Pizza in La Grange is no longer giving away free drinks with every slice of pizza sold at the establishment, changing their policy on Wednesday as a result of Cook County’s new penny-per-ounce tax on soda and sugary drinks going into effect, a store manager told The LION.   Bob...

Health Care bill fails in Senate

Health Care bill fails in Senate

Lars Lonnroth, Assistant News Editor
July 30, 2017
Filed under News, Online Exclusives, Top Stories

After the Republican leaders in the Senate successfully mustered enough votes to pass a procedure to initiate debate on how to best follow-through on Republican’s years-long promise to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act, the senator who was critical in the passage of that procedural vote ended u...

Illinois budget approved

Illinois budget approved

Lars Lonnroth, Assistant News Editor
July 12, 2017
Filed under News, Online Exclusives, Top Stories

Politicians in Springfield brought the nearly 3-year-long budget impasse to a close July 6 when lawmakers voted to override the veto of Gov. Bruce Rauner, a Republican, restoring a full budget to a state that has been lacking one for the majority of Rauner’s term.   “The people in this chamber today did not ...

Trump son met with Russian lawyer who claimed to have ‘incriminating’ info on Clinton

Trump son met with Russian lawyer who claimed to have ‘incriminating’ info on Clinton

Lars Lonnroth, Assistant News Editor
July 11, 2017
Filed under News, Online Exclusives, Top Stories

WASHINGTON—A meeting between Donald Trump Jr. and a Russian Attorney who claimed to have information that would incriminate Hillary Clinton has offered more insight to when some members of the campaign of now-President Donald Trump knew of Russian Interference in The U.S. Election. Newly-released ema...

President faces widespread condemnation over Morning Joe tweets

President faces widespread condemnation over Morning Joe tweets

Lars Lonnroth, Assistant News Editor
July 2, 2017
Filed under News, Online Exclusives, Top Stories

A feud between President Donald Trump and the hosts of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, has resulted in a barrage of criticism towards the president after unleashing a two-tweet tirade on June 29 against two individuals whom he used to be friendly with back when he was ...

Illinois Republican Leader and LT alumnus resigns from Senate

Illinois Republican Leader and LT alumnus resigns from Senate

Lars Lonnroth, Assistant News Editor
July 1, 2017
Filed under News, Online Exclusives, Top Stories

Springfield—Christine Radogno, the Senate Republican Leader in the Illinois General Assembly and an LT alumnus, has officially abducted her position in the Republican Leadership and from the Senate Saturday to “focus on my personal life” and spend more time with her grandkids, the senator said...

Three reporters resign from CNN after article retraction

Three reporters resign from CNN after article retraction

Lars Lonnroth, Assistant news editor
June 27, 2017
Filed under News, Online Exclusives, Top Stories

An online story posted by CNN tying a member of the Trump Campaign to a Russian investment fund has lead to three journalists in the network’s “CNN Investigates” division to resign on Monday only three days after the article was retracted by the network. In the now-retracted June 22 article, it cla...

Daniel Biss campaigns in La Grange

Daniel Biss campaigns in La Grange

Lars Lonnroth, Assistant news editor
June 12, 2017
Filed under News, Online Exclusives, Top Stories

On the night of June 11, the intricate stained-glass overlooking the pews at The First Congregational Church of La Grange were not witnessing any kind of church function. Instead, roughly 33 people gathered in those halls where Democratic state Senator Daniel Biss, 39, was attempting to sell the people of La Gran...

LT implements speed minimum for hallways

Sarah Grier, Assistant web editor
June 1, 2017
Filed under LiOnion (satire)

After years of student’s turtle-like pace in the hallways, Officer Terry Paul has finally posted the 15 leg paces per hour (LPH) speed minimum in the halls. Students and faculty now adjust to the major changes in the pace throughout both North and South campus. “I no longer feel like a freshman...

Deformed student finds calling in part-time job

Charlie Stefuicki, Managing editor of content
June 1, 2017
Filed under LiOnion (satire)

  During the 2016-2017 school year, the students and staff of North Campus have lacked a certain charm throughout their day. The bell, one of the most iconic features of the century-old school building, had been out of service for the majority of the year. School administrators floated the idea...

Gym flag footballers attract D1 offers

Grant Campbell, News Editor
June 1, 2017
Filed under LiOnion (satire)

For Hugh J. Hitter '17, playing collegiate football never crossed his mind. The gym class star has attracted offers from Alabama, Clemson, Wisconsin and other top programs. “Gym class was really the first time I played football,” Hitter said. “Mr. Adams told us it was flag football, but that didn’...

Fan gives student wacky new ‘doo

Caroline Konstant, Pulse Editor
June 1, 2017
Filed under LiOnion (satire), May 25, Print Issues (archive)

Student Mark Curley ‘18 was stunned when she found five inches of her hair on the floor moments after a ceiling fan blade detached and flew in her direction. Her hair was unevenly cut all along her right side, leaving her with two different hair lengths. No students were injured in this incident. ...

LT Football claims student athletes should be paid

Philip Smith, Editor in chief
June 1, 2017
Filed under LiOnion (satire)

After coming remarkably close to winning several games this past season, LT football has demanded that student athletes who play football should be paid for the 2017-18 season. “I mean, we already get all of the blue card money from cross country and all the other sports, but our players need to...

Consumer teacher: “Just buy a lottery ticket.”

Philip Smith, Editor in thief
June 1, 2017
Filed under LiOnion (satire)

Consumer Education teachers Charles Ponzi and Bernard Madoff have come up with a new, surefire plan to turn all LT students into millionaires. “Never mind all the balancing checkbooks and filing taxes,” Ponzi said. “If each LT student gives me their summer earnings—just about $1,000 or so—we’d...

The voice of Lyons Township students for more than 100 years