Student-athlete, Brody “Lax Bro” Chaddington ’17, has demanded to drop all of his coursework immediately. Chaddington has tweeted out several times in the last month complaining that “the grind is too much, Principal Brain Waterwoman let me drop.” Chaddington’s requests have been denied.

“All I want to do is lax bro, you know what I mean bro?” Chaddington said. “Just give me a stick and a ball so I can do what I love, bro.”

Chaddington said that all he wants to do his grow his lettuce out and let the good times roll. He is appealing to the school board requesting to allow him to drop all of his classes. His teammate Brad “Frat Boy” Wellington III 18 agrees with Chaddington’s request.

“Bro, you just got let the bro be free.” Wellington said. “Shukah for sure man.”

Even Chaddington’s parents support his request to drop of all classes. Chaddington’s father, Chad “Pi Kappa Phi” Chaddington had strong remarks toward both the principal and the school board.

“Let my son lax,” Chad Chaddington said. “He is the most dank lax player in the world bro. If you don’t believe me, come at me bro.”

Chaddington’s father then proceeded to scream “I am alpha” and even attempted to fight numerous school board members and Principal Waterwoman.

“The East Coast is sick man. The peeps just need to relax and let me lax.” Chaddington said.