New AP classes require no coursework at all

Izy Scott, Art Director

After thriving reviews of the no-fail physics final this winter, LT administration has released plans of a new, new AP physics policy that requires no work to be done and attendance to be optional.

“We figured the no-fail final was such a hit, that we’d take it to the next level and see what happens when we make the whole class no-fail,” Bill Nyle, the head of the science department, said.

The new AP physics class will allow students to “just kind of roam the material” according to the proposal, and teachers will be required to give students infinite test make-ups to assure that all students pass the class with confidence that even though it may take eight tries, they will eventually kind-of understand physics.

“Oh, I am psyched,” senior Brad Chillman said. “I heard they are requiring students to wear flannel sweatpants and sweatshirts to class to really give it a college-feel. I can dig that.”

Some teachers, however, have shown opposition to the newest policy, like exhausted veteran AP Physics teacher Martha Stuffy, who begged the science board to make additions to the newest policy.

“I think the board missed some opportunities here to really push the limits of this no-work no-attendance thing,” Stuffy said. “Mandatory food Friday’s, for example—but buffet-style meals only so we can be sure our students will fall into a deep food coma for the rest of class.”

Stuffy said she was also disappointed in the lack of a “nap quality” grade in Infinite Campus, the required pajama-attire which implies students will actually be showing up, and she said she was disgruntled that there were not scheduled projector overheatings at least once every class.

Coined by the LT student body as “No work no worries, Bruh,” the policy has proven to have a 100% approval rate from students, who hope to expand this philosophy to other courses.

“Dude if this policy sticks, think of what could come next,” Chillman said. “If the board can get the physics teachers to have this much chill, then imagine what we can get our gym teachers to not make us do.”

Chillman said due to the physics policy change, his classmates and him are bringing a course change proposal to their English teacher that involves receiving extra credit for writing half of an acrostic poem and an in-depth, semester-long analysis of exclusively phonic books.