On May 1, LT principal Dr. Byron Aguahombre announced over the intercom the new gym clothes policy that will be taking place next school year for all students.
“I am proud to introduce the clothing brand that will be sponsoring the new gym uniforms,” Aguahombre said. “No more ugly, blue, knee shorts or smelly cotton t-shirts that soak up all your body odor. LT will now be partnering with the Instagram baddie brand: Fashion Nova.”
Fashion Nova is an online international clothing brand for women and men. Customers are allowed to shop for sexy club dresses, jeans, shoes, bodysuits and more.
“For anyone who hasn’t seen Fashion Nova ads on their Instagram feeds 24/7, it is the hottest trend in the game right now,” Aguahombre said.
The policy will enforce that every female will now have the choice to choose between the “Call Me Your Babydoll Skort Silicon Romper” or the “Birthday Bash Sequin Pink Bodycon Dress”. The males will have the option of the Fashion Nova men’s line of the “Metallic Leopard Silver Tracksuit” or the “I Am The Alpha Fake Yeezy Tracksuit.” All new uniforms will still have the original LT gym logo.
Starting next year, the new uniforms will be sold in the NC and SC bookstores for $22.35. However, if students pre-order their uniforms on the LT website and use code “BADDIE30” they will receive an additional 5% off their purchase.
“Wow if this policy happens, I can’t wait to flex during gym in my bodycon dress,” Kiki Fleek ‘21 said. “The dress will sure make me look sporty too. I will now look forward to gym everyday because of the fact I will be rocking my new curvy look.”
Fleek was reported throwing away her hideous old gym uniform that clearly has not been washed the whole year after school yesterday.
“Yo man,” Malik Papi 19’ said. “Aguahombre is my dog. “Fashion Nova men section is so fire. Getting 25 minutes in the zone will now be so easy thanks to my fake Yeezy tracksuit!”
Since the new policy announcement, gym participation has increased 21%, gym teacher Gerald Hotdog said.
“It seems Fashion Nova has inspired the students to be more active during physical education,” Hotdog said. “Kids’ grades have made huge improvements. One kid broke the mile school record with a time of 3:59 due to his excitement about the new policy.”